A more (or less) finite microcosm of confusion

This is (perhaps) my first proper attempt at photocopy art - which I wasn't aware had ever existed as a movement at the time (2009 I think).  It was exhibited by Contents May Vary in the Urbis when they were nominated  for the Best of Manchester Awards... which makes it sound as if it was on the wall (which would be quite impressive) - but it wasn't - it was on the floor next to their exhibition as a page in a free magazine. 

The brief for putting this image together was the question "Does the spectator run the show?" - I think how I interpreted this was to present an answer to the question by visually presenting myself as the spectator in the centre of the image and overlaying it with another image of myself but at a different angle.  One is "spectating" the other is imagining and making some internal interpretations and visualizations.  

What I think I was trying to get at was that I don't think there should be line drawn between spectating and creating and that I thought the question was invalid.  I don't personally like to call myself an artist because I think it sounds poncy and presumptuous.  All I do is experience existence and try to express my own baffled interpretation for whatever reason it is that I feel that doing that is necessary.  

Perhaps I produce artwork to try and make sense of the world and myself - like trying to create some perfect image of everything all at once so that I can finally see exactly what is happening and have some hold on the world spinning and spilling around me.  Sometimes I don't know whether I'm spilling out or spilling in.  I see myself as a spectator but also as an interpreter of my spectating.  By making this image I'm spectating myself spectating and interpreting.  The reason I'm posting this now is that this mode of self portrait is similar to my more recent image Self Diagrammatical Blood Speech.  

Aesthetically the two are quite different but they are both displaying a circuit of how my confusion is channeled into more a more (or less) finite microcosm of confusion.  I suppose as images go these are both very different from my usual artwork as a lot of what I create is very abstract.  Do I need to create more work that resemble intuitive diagrams rather than typical abstraction.  Perhaps an image of the world - every single person trapped and confused going through the motions and finding their identity crutches all with separate observations and interpretations.  This kind of terror of a shared existence was also done recently in this image:  Heads Multiply in Limited Tubes of Ruin. (I used to have difficulty naming work until someone told me that art should be named after what it is an image of - because some of my work is quite complex, strange or/and hideous it results in a title that is long, wordy and perhaps hard to fathom.  So the title is for you to read it for what it is and the title should aid you in your understanding of the image).

I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to make pretty pictures and I don't want to just sell things - what I want to do and what I should do can be different things all together but in this case I should and want to be making more interesting work.  When creating abstract images that bear no relation to anything but dead and horrible swirling death voids then I'm not really feeling or saying anything... in fact it's an absence of saying anything to the point where it infects the mind and I find that I've not really thought about anything properly for a long time especially in my artwork so it's probably time to really think things through and make something that really does encapsulate everything and this time do it properly.