Some new artwork part derived from zoomed in print outs of part of this picture.
I'm hoping to develop my images more and more in the direction of an organised yet seeming disorganised assemblage of living sensations - like twinges of tiny pain in the internal organs that happen suddenly and with no explanation only to vanish until they reoccur a few weeks later... the whole unpredictable and unknowing throb of infections, slow dislocation and probable failure at the very end: when our frames together break apart and we all tumble down into death and pain.
Very cheery, I sound like a 17 year old all over again.
These images in particular are a visual of an internal fall and also what is done to escape that fall: little hopes and ideas bursting and inflating, they form into the real world some external patterns of gesture and action. Every motion is an attempt to create a feeling of concrete cohesion in the life I'm living.
I'd like to make the real world around me into a place that supports my own internal world forever but the rungs on the ladders crumble and the steps on the stairs shrink as my mental processes lose control of limbs. So bridges and support barriers are built and lists are made from words to enforce a new structure and to build something streamlined and powerful to move through the difficult landscape ahead - a clear focus must be developed in order to pilot myself to my hoped for destination. I must try to be a bit less dopey.
So in order to avoid my decline into death and nothing I feel that the best idea is to confront the inevitable but to have a few tricks up my sleeve ready for when it happens - so far the only way I've been typical and predictable is by being typically me - so to be less typically me is the way to prepare for the decline far ahead. I can make the declination into an ascension and become more than I could ever imagine and actually win against the inevitable. Cheat death.
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