Jagged centres of essential circles

Another image created by collaging over an old picture from years ago that was dropping to bits on top of my wardrobe.  A whole layer torn off and new layers stuck over the top.  I've called this image "Jagged centres of essential circles".  It features a few of my more familiar motives but what I hoped to achieve, at least in a subtle way, was a definite and organic shift in colour and shade from top to bottom.  The lower half of the image containing much more red and the upper half containing much more blue.  I also wanted the image to have a centre which draws in the eye but isn't a horizon point - more rather a point where the rest of image revolves around cycloptically.

I've been creating a variety of images for years and it's evident (to myself at least) that I've developed a fairly unique technique and style - this may be to do with a very stubborn refusal to not contextualising my work or trying to reference other artists.  What I've realised of late though is a style can become repetitious and I've gotten to a point where I want to create differences of speed and pattern within my image rather than create constant windows into chaos and confusion.  Chaos and confusion can be made all the more effective when given a counterpoint or an opposite with which to contrast.  I've been  developing some images which should hopefully imbue more of a contrast.                                                                                                Other news is that my semi self portrait - Self Diagrammatical Blood Speech - has been selected for the 2nd stage of judging to be entered into an arts contest - so fingers crossed that it impresses the judges.  I had to take it out of it's aluminium frame and make sure it was all stuck down properly covering it with a layer of very strong glue.  I didn't sleep in my own bed last night because one of my collages was taking up all the space.   Had a good nights sleep though - it's good to get out of the confines of my stuffy boxroom. Especially during such warm weather.

One identity globdule enters the Fear Fog and breaks into separate eyes

I was asked to create a drawing for an exhibition of 60 drawings at the Bankley Gallery (the opening for which is on Friday 1st June) - this is likely due to me being on their list of contacts due to doing an exhibition there last year.  The drawing I eventually handed into them is a very overworked picture which is half drawing, half collage... which means I collaged together loads of my drawings and then drew on top of them.

I ended up enjoying this and getting increasingly overconfident and ended up overdrawing and therefore just created a bit of a mess compared to the very concise image I what I started out with.  

   

I called it "One identity globdule enters the Fear Fog and breaks into separate eyes"  I doubt it's easy to tell why I called it this due to the image not possessing any differentiation of style but for the purpose of explaining the title I've zoomed into certain areas and will now write what each area is representative of.

The above is the "identity globdule".  A sort of malformed mass of human self definition.

The "identity globdule" bubbles into the fear "Fear Fog" - a nowhere pool of everything intangible doubtful and confusing.

These are all of the separate eyes - which is the self analysis breaking apart and looking for different modes of self definition.

Identity crutches are flimsy - made out of very old twigs which can't support a developing mind unless they are constantly repaired and maintained.  Sometimes you may hear or see the supports snapping underneath someone's big idea of their self.  They realise that wearing converse trainers doesn't put them in the same elite as whoever it is they like who wears converse.  

This extends beyond the superficial and into personality, gender and sexuality.  Like someone who is cheating on loads of people and calling themselves polysexual or someone who doesn't want to get into fights calling himself a pacifist as if they are resisting going to war or killing people rather than just keeping out of trouble.  By giving yourself labels you are simply fictionalising yourself into a two dimensional ego ideal and attempting to cover the holes in your inadequacy with cannibalised words made into temporary tattoos (washing off uselessly in a heavy storm).  

I don't think of myself as an artist for instance.  It's a snooty word to make someone think they are so much more creative and important that anyone else.  Also because I produce the occasional misstep (like the drawing this blogpost is the subject of) and then label it with a confusing sub poetic title followed up with a blog post about identity crutches.  Giving the impression that I'm really onto something - all the while making fun out of converse trainers, polysexuals and pacifists - until I loop my tangent into a circle which eventually returns in on myself and therefore leaves me blameless for any offence or disagreement possibly caused.  I simply don't have enough strength in these thoughts to turn them into convictions.  This is very comforting.

14.5.12 - 27.4.12

14.5.12 - went to see Vampirette which was a non event of a theatrical performance - good thing the tickets were completely free.  Before that had a Chinese Buffet and thought I'd be able to get to the theatre on time easily but was delayed due to the silly Manchester City parade which consisted of some uninterested looking footballers on top of a big double decker bus chatting to each other like they were in the smoking area of a pub whilst all their fans showed them love and support. If I were paid a million pound a year for doing a job I actually liked and was worshipped for then I'd think I'd show a lot more appreciation towards the people who fund my mansion by buying my merchandise and tickets.  I'm so glad I hate football - footballers seem very self involved with little integrity and tend to be very ambivalent towards anyone who likes them.

13.5.12 - "One identity globdule enters the fear fog and breaks into separate eyes" - title for a ruined drawing, ruined by over drawing, but see my over drawing at an exhibition of drawings at the Bankley Gallery (opening on the Friday 1st June)

12.5.12 - some head bleats with questions that get forced into the circle of ignoring everything.  Self portrait swirls with indecision of the how to represent oneself and whether I need to be represented anyway - some analysis of the outside world would be handy rather than being snagged on illusionary internal railings.

11.5.12 - slime and brick tentacles never reach the glowing singularity and therefore they'll never press the void switch....
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QUESTION:  If a void switch is pressed and EVERYTHING is compacted from an infinitely large space into an infinitely small space - wouldn't the size of EVERYTHING be exactly the same as before?  Infinite.

10.5.12 - Fragments disperse over tangible vectors (foamboard comes in useful and leaves a lovely grid for me.  Will be getting more of this - somehow better than framing - could be worth backing everything I send to people through Etsy onto foamboard as it has a lovely stickiness)

9.5.12 - the gargantuan one eyed confusion - massive organic mess eating it's own internal organs and digesting them into new versions of themselves to support a bloodfull roll of second skin.  It merges with a second triangular head.

8.5.12 - melding into a mountainous region of stretched skin covering holes in the ground full of pools of red something.

7.5.12 - some drawing on the back of an envelope - was attempting to convey an inexpressible form of dread and a mission against creation and reincarnation but visual diagrams made it seem much crazier than it sounds - and it sounds quite crazy.

6.5.12 - went to Camelot Theme Park and though I didn't go on any roller coasters I managed to brave the pirate ship and realised how sickly and horrible it really did make me feel back when I was ten.  To sway back and forth over and over and over - when I was younger it scared me to look down into it's horrible grinding cogs and to slip out of my seat every time it went up.

5.5.12  sold these two voids to Ryan Boyd who wrote this story featured on this wonderfully named website.  Got into a conversation with Mr Boyd through Etsy after he received them and they are now on his wall next to Malevich's Black Square 

These collages are still available for £5 on my Etsy shop - feel free to give them a look and also the A4 prints I have on there.   Everything at a reasonable price and could potentially increase in value one day.  Not being big headed or anything.

4.5.12 - a view screen of a spacecraft which scans the hidden pathways of a bizarre sun.  Watched by the gelatinous black octopus god of the Polygon Empire.

3.5.12 - a tree withering through colours and in a field of dead roses in perspex blocks.

2.5.12 - an uncareful separation and combination of generic scribble.

1.5.12 - before darkness grows deeper and stranger and steps into the blackness of it's own gigantic font.

30.4.12 - very busy day in work - a long queue of people all with their tickets - stuck the tickets in my book to form a living ticket tree which will grow towards more tickets being printed and more enquiries.

29.4.12  - bought a Chinese money cat which now sits on the shelf of my cupboard clawing in potential wealth.  It has very sad eyes which make me feel slightly guilty, like it doesn't enjoy clawing money out of thin air (perhaps because it's an impossible task).

28.4.12 - the monthly planner of April reaches it's conclusion - to be pasted and drawn over in my diary to the point where it becomes unrecognisable texture.

27.5.12 - red biro forms patterns through dark tunnels... possessing nothing more and wanting even less they are simply engraved and then scanned then kept as part of a eternal slide show.