January 1st - 6th 2015

In order to use my blog more often and also to keep the production of art and ideas developing at an observable rate (for myself more than anyone) I am keeping a 2015 diary and posting the pages and developments on here.  I will also be interspersing this with Facebook posts of mine that I feel are developmental and relevant to my conquest over myself, you, others and everything.   This sort of self absorbed project is either an unhealthy or positive activity for a young(ish) but promising egomaniac.  

31st December - 1st January:

A choice of outfit that was unusually subdued but perhaps my hair more than made up for that.  Wore my own pattern so I almost felt that I couldn't go into the usual pattern/colour overload that I normally would. \\\\\\\\\\\\Superficiality?////////////  I was told a long time ago at the lowest peak of my confidence and sense of self worth that the best way to avoid cruel and judgemental people is to frighten them away by looking like an alien.  

I don't meet very many cruel or judgemental people.

A stylish photograph of an insect in a taxi with a snazzy camera filter.  A photo of some form of odd tree in the front garden at a house party.  Assessment of house party:  usually I enjoy staring at people's book shelves but in this place the book shelves were a gulf.  So I had some interesting if confusing social interactions and also enjoyed the spooky quality of this strange tree.  

 

The rest of my New Years Day involved fragmentations, problems, conjoinmentations and plenty of drama some of which I came out of victoriously..... A knowledge of self control and resistance and of being an almost full grown version of myself.   Everything is always so important but I realize that Everything is not the boss of me.  Lucky.  Until I run out of Everything and have to go and buy more of it.  Then it's time to go to bed.

2nd January - 4th January 2015 - Three days which are (pretty much, but not pretty) a process of recovery... a cognitive mess played at the wrong speed.  A diary is made of exagerration and omissions.  Theoretically.  #######( #Please note I am leaving my grammatical errors and spelling mistakes as intact as possible. #)#######  In ommitting and exagerating you are able to convey are more distinct and concise narrative, perhaps even a mythology.  Also you leave out information that may hurt other people.  The truth is a mutable thing and not to be completely trusted {{{{VOICE OF REASON speaks "What makes you think that anyone is going to read this anyway?  Why read this feedback loop of self analytical text?  You're not even writing it properly, you can't even be bothered to go back and check your spelling or grammar or punctuation.  This whole thing is self absorbed, pointless and you're eventually going to find it very time consuming.  This project will be over long before the year is out.  This is just self aggrandisement directed at yourself, something to fuel the delusions of your own self built mythology that only you are paying attention to."}}}}}}}  Shut up VOICE OF REASON you are not the boss of me or anyone.

5th - 6th January:

I am now back at work doing my lovely data entry and filing and all the lovely managing of lovely emotionless unchallenging units.  I wonder if I should approach life from an administrative perspective.  Though I also wonder what would happen to my emotions if I were to limit them into filing cabinets.  Perhaps an administrative approach would stunt all creative efforts and all efforts of interpersonal connection.  Perhaps with an administrative approach I wouldn't have the friends I now have and despite all the bad things I think people say about me usually people only say nice things. ((((((((((((((IDLE UNIMAGINATIVE PONTIFICATING... SOMEONE ELSE MUST HAVE SAID THE ABOVE BETTER THAN YOU)))))))))))))  

I have had it in my diary to drink more water.  4 bottles of water a day.  Oddly I do feel rejuvenated.  My skin seems to have a healthier glow to it.  Also I'm taking lots of zinc.  I love zinc.
((((((((((((YOU DO NOT LOVE ZINC NOR DO YOU HAVE A HEALTHY GLOW)))))))))))))

Had an art evening on Monday with my friend Ana and drank too many cups of tea and ended up being awake in my bed until 2 in the morning.  Whilst I lay awake I had many life defining thoughts

((((((((((((DELUSIONAL)))))))))))))))

Tuesday was a day of action creating more pattern designs for a company called Art on Fashion.  Hopefully this year will be the year that I break into full self employment.

((((((((((((DOUBLE DELUSIONAL)))))))))))))))

My 2015 horoscope sounds very promising and indicates that all my dreams will come true

((((((((((((HOROSCOPES!!!!!! PAH!))))))))))))))

The analytical self critical thoughts in my head are becoming less and less eloquent

(((((((((((WHAT ROT!)))))))))))))

And they even seem a lot quieter

(((((((((NO WE DON'T!!!!!!!)))))))))))))

Perhaps they are drowning in all the water I am drinking

(((((((((((((((YOU'VE NOT HEARD THE LAST OF US GARTH SIMMONS!)))))))))))))))))))))